actionables:

SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL

(via theaadventureye)

trilliath:

tyleroakley:

all you could ever need in a book

I don’t understand but I want it

cobalt-fallen-angel:

consulting-cannibal:

based on this chat post

i just—

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I will never get tired of this comic. Not now, Not ever.

(via onlyveryslightlymad)

basedgosh:

earthnation:

y’all are so annoying about dogs tbh i see posts like “there’s probably a doggy all the way across the world wagging its tail right now I have butterflies” get a job u fuckin hippies

image

(via snorlaxatives)

effrons:

OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING

(via onlyveryslightlymad)

breakfastburritoe:

depressed-0bsessed:

breakfastburritoe:

Are you a fisherman because I think you’re a reel catch

You spelled real wrong.

Throw this one back into the water boys we’ve got ourselves a city slicker

(via maybejustalittleemo)

What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

vivalanorge:

England: colour
America: color
England: humour
America: humor
England: flavour
America: flavor
England: what are you doing
America: getting rid of u lmao

(Source: norwaysvevo, via thetowerofpimps)

lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords:

So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

(via lemonzesting)

yourlittleharmonicaishammered:

What I lack in social skills, I make up for in useless pop culture trivia and TV/Movies quotes.

(via wesley-crusher)